Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Meaning of the Blog Title

As there seemingly is a reason for everything, there is an explanation on why my blog is titled, “No More Fearful Whispers”.  A synonym for whisper is a rumor.  Terrified is another synonym for fearful.  When you are whispering, there is doubt in your words.  Fearful whispers result in perhaps not even believing what you are saying, as the terror of being discovered is so great.  If you can’t believe your own words, how can anyone else?

While in the throes of an abusive relationship, you live in fear and solitude, unable to utter your secret except some furtive whispers to someone you’ve managed to keep close.  

In my book, “…Until You Die”: The Narcissists’ Promise, there are so many times for whispering…the fear of being discovered for breaking the rules, talking on the telephone, confiding in someone else, the stressful sadness of the situation, the helplessness of being almost being forced into an unwanted abortion…and the brave planning to not allow that to happen.     

A very wise quote from Oprah Winfrey says, "In speaking the words, you release the shame.”   Thus my book; thus my blog.   

And I am most sure that you escape from the control your abuser has tried to maintain as you boldly reclaim your own spirit and fearlessly shout out, “I am a survivor of a batterer!”    

The last time I spoke to the batterer, he asserted, “I never abused you,” uttered randomly over the phone.  Did he read my mind… or just hear the confidence in my voice?  To quote the late John Lennon, “I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me.”  Since a sociopathic narcissist considers his partner property or chattel, and the realization that although he may have had her once; ultimately she left him…and that drains his narcissistic supply no matter how vehement his denying declarations may be, agonizingly confirming that yes indeed, this bird has flown.

So boldly proclaim yourself as a SURVIVOR.  Never call yourself a victim.  There is no need to fearfully whisper about the abuse you endured…because you are here and you survived.    

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