As a writer, sometimes, it is
a challenge to decide what word best suits the emotion you are trying to express. My writing often revolves around topics that
evoke a variety of sentiments. I love
the thesaurus. I love finding alternate
ways to describe something. Often,
although the meaning is similar, the words bear a slightly different tone. Recently, I looked up the word pity, and found many synonyms: shame,
disappointment, misfortune, sympathy, and compassion. These words mean the same thing, but each
word has a different flavor.
For example: A glamorous Hollywood
movie star recently underwent a double mastectomy to prohibit the growth of the
cancer cells her medical history dictated.
As a high risk woman she opted to take somewhat drastic precautions to
avoid the disease. I have compassion and sympathy for a surely difficult decision,
but I also have admiration for her bravery.
Pity is not a word I would use in connection with Angelina Jolie, for
she is a survivor.
Heinous crimes are always in
the forefront of our news. The most recent
one is the Jodi Arias trial who received a Murder One verdict for the heinous
murder of her former boyfriend Travis Alexander. When the jury could not reach a decision
regarding the death penalty, Travis’s family broke down in tears. Watching them, I felt empathy that justice
had not been given that day. My heart
ached for them and for their pain. Pity
is not a word I would use in connection with the siblings of Travis Alexander,
for they are survivors.
Pity is a word used for
situations that appear to be unchangeable.
Pity is used for those in a downward spiral, or stuck in their
circumstances, stagnant, and unable to find the strength to question, move or
rectify. I would use the word pity for the starving children of the
infomercials, living in horrible conditions.
Pity is induced toward the suffering victims of handicaps or deformities. Pity is also called to mind for children of
hostile aggressive parenting or parental alienation. This behavior is not visible like the Save The Children infomercials. This is a secretive occurrence that happens
behind closed doors, hiding the atmosphere of revenge, and the methods used to
prompt the children to hate. One can
only have pity for them at the unfairness
of being estranged from a loving parent, and being betrayed by their other
parent, who is selfishly utilizing his own anger to promote revenge. What a horrible childhood it must be when the
one person you trust is lying just because they are angry that their former
spouse who wanted a divorce. My three
oldest children have the misfortune to be such victims. They were exposed to continuous vitriolic verbiage
since a very young age. If they did not
hear it from their father, they would hear it from their step-mother, who was
equally misguided and cruel.
This was confirmed years ago
when the nine-year old seated beside me at the ballet school, questioned my
identity after seeing my daughter wave to me from her dance class. After I told her I was Arielle’s mother, she
stated, “Oh. I’ve heard all about you!”
She was the niece of my daughter’s step-mother. Why would a 9 year old be privy to any
conversation about me? My ex was
constantly spewing evil, and I wondered what was going on in that house that allowed
young children to hear, and easy remember his sordid words. It was happening in a house where the secrets
were concealed.
To date, my three oldest
children (now 21, 22, and 24) are fully alienated by their father’s cruel ways.
Nevertheless, they have been
continuously feeding his narcissistic supply, as he is the money giver. Regardless of what he does, they worship him. They have no sense of speculation. They have no questions regarding his gleeful
slander. He has erased any reasoning
abilities from their minds. They are, in
a sense, malleable puppets, on this earth to do the bidding of a malicious sociopath. Pitiable.
