Monday, October 15, 2012
A Business Run By A Narcissist
As I was perusing the internet, looking for contemporary furniture stores for our living and dining area, I came across an advertisement for contemporary decorative hardware, which is my ex’s line of work. It was linked to a site called YELP – which provides reviews of local businesses. Curiously, I clicked on the link that brought up reviews of his business. Listed were five remarks from former customers alleging the employees were rude, and patronizingly suggested a customer’s inability to afford the merchandise.
· “Each question we asked was met with a smirk and sarcasm”
· “I remember the owner being unreliable and unprofessional”
· “(The products are from) kitchens starting at $60,000 - that's a six and four zeros - are you sure you want me to talk to you about those?”
· “It is pretty bad”
· “Unhelpful and condescending”
· “I visited today for the first and last time”
I found these comments were such an accurate reflection of my narcissistic ex, with his pompous attitudes, and I wasn’t too surprised. But the one contrary and complimentary review included an odd final line:
· “I personally think the other reviews are bogus & (the customers) were created to just slam this one business.”
If this site merely featured a few negative reviews, it could probably be chalked up to dissatisfaction, not worth blogging about, recognizing bad experiences are discussed more often than good ones. However, the posting strangely accused other patrons of fabricating their experience, suggesting conspiracy and personal vendettas; that made no sense. .
I have no doubt the negative reviews are genuine, due to one narcissistic component of a narcissist looking down at others. This is itself lends some credibility to the legitimacy of the negative reviews.
However, the remaining pieces fall into place as a perfect puzzle to the narcissist:
1. A narcissist refuses responsibility: These reviews aren’t his fault – it has to be the reviewers making up these critiques
2. A narcissist lies: Enough said
3. A narcissist is charming: Some people can see through them and some can’t. Therefore, how much credibility does the one positive review possess?
4. A narcissist is vindictive; The have a burning need to retaliate against anyone who exposes them as anything less than wonderful
5. A narcissist projects: They project their psychological illness to others, i.e., “I’m not crazy; she is the crazy one”.
In due diligence, I researched the reviews for a variety of service related/retail businesses. Many offered mixed reviews…but none suggested the probability of a smear campaign against the company. Therefore, I would conclude that Mr. Defensive Reviewer is probably a personal friend of my ex who is smitten by his narcissistic charm and is following the suggestive rebuttal.
I’ve worked a variety of jobs and believe in the motto, “The customer is always right,” (even when they’re not). Every complaint is a learning opportunity, utilized to improve customer relations. But the narcissist is always looking to replenish his narcissistic supply. The customer who drains this supply by leaving a bad comment is someone to be dealt with in ways that suggest their incompetence. The narcissist will never take the blame and never seek help, because they do not believe there is anything wrong with them. To seek counseling would force them to look at their reflection, and see the empty shell of a person. To the narcissist, it’s so much safer and easier to sit beside the cool water like Narcissus, and stare at what only he believe is mirrored back