As I was perusing the
internet, looking for contemporary furniture stores for our living and dining
area, I came across an advertisement for contemporary decorative hardware,
which is my ex’s line of work. It was linked
to a site called YELP – which provides reviews of local businesses. Curiously, I clicked on the link that
brought up reviews of his business.
Listed were five remarks from former customers alleging the employees
were rude, and patronizingly suggested a customer’s inability to afford the
merchandise.
·
“Each question
we asked was met with a smirk and sarcasm”
·
“I remember the
owner being unreliable and unprofessional”
·
“(The products
are from) kitchens starting at $60,000 - that's a six and four zeros - are you
sure you want me to talk to you about those?”
·
“It is pretty
bad”
·
“Unhelpful and
condescending”
·
“I visited today
for the first and last time”
I found these comments were
such an accurate reflection of my narcissistic ex, with his pompous attitudes, and
I wasn’t too surprised. But the one
contrary and complimentary review included an odd final line:
·
“I
personally think the other reviews are bogus & (the customers) were created
to just slam this one business.”
If this site merely featured a few negative reviews, it could probably
be chalked up to dissatisfaction, not worth blogging about, recognizing bad
experiences are discussed more often than good ones. However, the posting strangely accused other patrons of fabricating their
experience, suggesting conspiracy and personal vendettas; that made no
sense. .
I have no doubt the negative reviews are genuine, due to one
narcissistic component of a narcissist looking down at others. This is itself lends some credibility to the
legitimacy of the negative reviews.
However, the remaining pieces fall into place as a perfect puzzle to the
narcissist:
1.
A narcissist refuses responsibility: These reviews aren’t his fault – it has to be
the reviewers making up these critiques
2.
A narcissist lies:
Enough said
3.
A narcissist is charming: Some people can see through them and some
can’t. Therefore, how much credibility
does the one positive review possess?
4.
A narcissist is vindictive; The have a burning need to retaliate against
anyone who exposes them as anything less than wonderful
5.
A narcissist projects: They project their psychological illness to
others, i.e., “I’m not crazy; she is the crazy one”.
In due diligence, I researched the reviews for a variety of service
related/retail businesses. Many offered
mixed reviews…but none suggested the probability of a smear campaign against
the company. Therefore, I would conclude
that Mr. Defensive Reviewer is probably a personal friend of my ex who is
smitten by his narcissistic charm and is following the suggestive
rebuttal.
I’ve worked a variety of jobs and believe in the motto, “The customer is
always right,” (even when they’re not).
Every complaint is a learning opportunity, utilized to improve customer
relations. But the narcissist is always
looking to replenish his narcissistic supply.
The customer who drains this supply by leaving a bad comment is someone
to be dealt with in ways that suggest their
incompetence. The narcissist will never
take the blame and never seek help, because they do not believe there is
anything wrong with them. To seek
counseling would force them to look at their reflection, and see the empty shell
of a person. To the narcissist, it’s so
much safer and easier to sit beside the cool water like Narcissus, and stare at
what only he believe is mirrored back
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